Kickin' the bucket

Over the past year, I've nearly died, started a new job, made a name for myself, tried to be confident, made new friends, left old friends, and just tried to live my life the way I should. But i cant seem to do it. I hit walls, health gets worse. I nearly died a week before my birthday, then again at easter. why? because im not strong. Thats why I wrote my bucket list. Life IS too short, but how can you live your life to the full when you dont really know what life is? I hope my list helps me find it.